I have been very quiet for awhile now as some huge, massive life changes have been going on in our house. I have not shared quite so openly on the blog in awhile, so prepare for some candour….

#1 – The Studio

We have shut down our docklands studio. There were lots of reasons behind this (including some not so above board dealings by my new landlords) but the main reason – I needed to be at home. For the last few years I have been getting sick alot. I have worked myself half to death and have missed out on time with my children as I spent all my time working to support them.

#2 – Part Time

Yup – with the above as the reasons – I have gone back to part time. This means we have very few bookings available each month for portrait shoots and we will be taking just 10 weddings a year. As such you should book in advance! I won’t be working full time again in the near future, and when I am booked – that’s it.

#3 – Stay at Home Mum

Long time readers, friends and clients all know that for the past few years I have been the working parent. I have supported my family, doing what I love, while my husband stayed at home with our amazing daughters. He has done an incredible job. I know I have never given him enough praise for what he has done. He has changed more nappies, done more night feeds and been thrown up on more than me. Every teacher at the school knows him and he knows all the kids in the school by name. He has done the single most important job in the world – which has been raising our daughters. This year the twins went off to school and after years of being at home with bottles and nappies and lunches and baths and school runs he decided to go back to full time work. As such I am now the stay at home parent. Working from home during the day and doing all the school runs, baths and dinners. If I didn’t have a world of respect for him before hand, I certainly do now (and they are all at school most of the day!). But I have discovered I love it more than I ever imagined. I enjoy seeing them off to school in the morning, being there to hear about their day in the afternoon and tucking them into bed at night. For so long I have worked late nights at the studio or shooting – that I was rarely home when they went to bed.

#4 – Me

For the last 10 years my life has been devoted to my children, my husband and my work. There was no time for me. Mind you I was never quite sure what I would do just for me. I am still not sure. Sometimes when I have no work to do, the house is clean and its still a few hours before I have to get the girls I feel quite lost. But that’s ok. It is ok for me to be lost, as soon I know I will find myself again. One of the things I am doing for me is shooting film again. I am halfway through a roll of medium format film on my holga. Just one frame every few days. Thinking about what I capture carefully. No ability to check and see if I got it. No rapid fire. No control. I like it.

#5 – My Marriage

Ryan and I started dating when I was just 17. When I was 18 Chelsea arrived. I was 19 when Maddy came along and just 21 when we had our twins. We have had almost zero family support and have had to find our own feet, like anyone else, when it came to parenting. But with 4 kids less than 4 years apart, moving interstate, no family to baby sit and me being a workaholic there was no time for us. We came close to ending alot. I was stressed as the “breadwinner” so I would spend more time working. He was stressed as the at home parent of 4 crazy girls. There was no time for us in there. Now our priorities have shifted. With the kids at school we had some choices to make. With him going back to work and me being able to cut back on my hours (and stress levels) we have more time for us. I see so much more in him that I ever have before. It’s almost like I am 17 again and falling in love all over again, with the same man.

All this has happened in just a few short weeks. My life has literally been tipped upside down and I am loving it. I put my back out again (then got the flu) and it was ok. It was ok because even though I couldn’t work food was still on the table (oh how our family has missed a regular paycheck). I was able to rest through the day, and I was able to be there to look after the girls when they got sick. I am here to help Josh with his homework after school and to keep the house clean (for all Ryans mad parenting skills – cleaning was not one of them). I could never of imagined how content I would be in this role.

So here we are. Life: Changed!

Someone asked recently if I was going to stop shooting entirely. The answer to that is HELL NO! I love photography. I love my clients. The only thing I will be stopping, is I won’t be shooting anything I don’t love. I hope you will all continue on this journey with me. To the clients I have shared this news with already, I can’t thank you enough for your overwhelming support. It means the world.

Thank you again.

j.